No pain, no gay!

"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship,

  think and remember. A child is listening."

                                                                     -Mary Griffith (巴母)

關於恐同(homophobia)…

30多年前 同性戀不管在美國或台灣似乎都被視為一種罪 

想想我們現在的身分不就是白先勇筆下的 “孽子” 嗎

無知及人言可畏

那個年代幾乎不太可能大方的談 “認同”

“為巴比祈禱”改編自真人真事

巴比是個天使

他善解人意 是爸媽眼中的好兒子 更是家中和諧氣氛不可或缺的催化劑

大家都愛他

然而幾近完美的他 因為喜歡的不是女生 也因終究得不到認可 甚或傾聽、了解

極度絕望下 結束了才準備綻開的年輕生命

虔誠信奉上帝的巴母 經歷了椎心之痛 才慢慢了解：

“My son was always different. I knew that……

  I know now why God didn’t heal Bobby.

  He didn’t heal him because….

  There was nothing wrong with him.

  I did this. I killed my son. ………I’m so sorry….. I’m so sorry……”

大雨的夜裡 巴母向神父(or牧師)告解 之後她到巴比的墳上 對上帝祈禱著： 

“Dear God. Give us something we can live with.

  And pass on to others whose lives will never be the same.

  Because of a loved one’s death.

  I did not decide on brown eyes for myself.

  And now I realize that Bobby did not decide to be gay.

  If you say in your words.

  That it is evil and wicked to be born with no arms.

  And a child is born with no arms. What is that child to think?”

是啊 巴比是折翼的天使啊 他生下來就是這樣

片中最令人感動的 莫過於巴母在會議廳所說的吧 

“I deeply regret my lack knowledge about gay and lesbian people.

 I see everything I was taught and told. Was bigotry and dehumanizing slender.

 If I had investigated, beyond what I was told.

 If I had just listened to my son. When he poured his heart out to me.

 I would not be standing here today with you. Filled with regrets.

 I believe that God was pleased with Bobby’s kind and loving spirit.

 In God’s eyes, kindness and love are what it’s all about.

 I didn’t know that.

 Each time I echoed eternal damnation for gay people…

 Each time I referred to Bobby. As sick and perverted and a danger to our children.

 His self-esteem, his sense of worth, were being destroyed.

 And finally, his spirit broke beyond repair.

 It was not God’s will. That Bobby climbed over the side of a freeway overpass. And jump directly into the path of an 18 wheel truck. Which killed him instantly.

 Bobby’s death…..was the direct result of his parents’ ignorance and fear of the word gay.

 He wanted to be a writer. His hopes and dreams should not have been taken from him but they were.

 There are children like Bobby. Sitting in your congregations. Unknown to you.

 They will be listening as you echo Amen. And that will soon silence their prayers. Their prayers to God for understanding and acceptance. And for your love. But your hatred and fear. And ignorance of the word gay will silence those prayers.

 So…..

 Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember. A child is listening.”

是啊 自己要認同自己本來就不是件容易的事了

而認同卻又往往攸關別人怎麼看我們

很常在家庭階段 我們就會如巴比一樣 選擇放棄

愛一個人的平等權到底在哪

人生而平等在哪??！！